I’m Baaaaccckk! And I’ve Got a DILDO to Start the Year!

It has been more than five months of silence; and to mimic Hugh Laurie’s (that’s Dr. Gregory House of the eponymous TV series) acceptance speech at the recent Golden Globes, “I’m literally speechless; I don’t have a speech,” mine goes this way: “I was literally wordless; I couldn’t bring myself to write a word for the past five months.” It would be useless to enumerate my worthless and implausible excuses, so let’s not dwell on it. Instead, let me start 2007 in high gear and resurrect my blogging with a big-bang topic – Dildo! 

Got your attention huh! Well, I have my good galpal “C” and her hubby “J” to thank for. It started several days ago when “C” and I got together for dinner. We had major gabbing and blabbing updates on our agenda while enjoying the mouthwatering pasta and pizza at Pasto, Fort
Strip. Our chat led to “C’s” sharing of a recent banter and ribbing she received from work colleagues about her ignorance of an item called “dildo” given that she was a married woman. So, my naïve but not-so-innocent friend asked her husband “J” what a dildo was. I guess, they really are meant for each other cuz “J” had no idea what this “happy toy” was too. Après-dîner, I promised “C” that my first blog of the year will be a “getting-to-know-a-dildo” topic dedicated to her and hubby “J.” 

My dear “C & J,” a dildo is an object having the shape and often the appearance of an erect penis, used in sexual stimulation. It usually is a vibrating device that substitutes for an erect penis to provide vaginal or anal (for our gay sistahs, they call it butt plugs) stimulation.  Read: primary customers are members of the female population and of course, our gay sisters or ka-federasyon!  Dildos are commonly made of silicone rubber, but are also available in steel, glass or cyberskin (whatever that means). 

According to Wikipedia: “The word “dildo” originally referred to the phallus-shaped peg used to lock an oar in position on a dory (small boat). It would be inserted into a hole on the side of the boat, and is very similar in shape and function to the modern toy. It is highly likely the toy takes its name from this sailing tool, which also lends its name to the town of Dildo and the nearby Dildo Island in Newfoundland, Canada. Others suggest the word is a corruption of Italian “diletto” (for “delight”). The term first appeared in English language print when Ben Jonson’s 1610 play, The Alchemist, was published in 1616. William Shakespeare used the term once in The Winter’s Tale, also believed to be from 1610, but it was not printed until the First Folio of 1623. The phrase “Dil Doul,” referring to man’s penis, appears in the 17th century folk ballad “The Maids Complaint for want of a Dil Doul”. The song was among the many in the library of Samuel Pepys. Signior Dildo is a 17th century poem by notorious libertine John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester.”   

But I don’t really care where in the world this very useful gadget came from. The more important thing is the pleasure, satisfaction, fulfillment, happiness and all the other orgasmic-causing emotions that a dildo can produce hehehe.  

By the way, dildo is not a “bad word.” A person with a mature outlook in life (esp one’s sexual and sensual life) and who possesses an open acceptance of one’s sexuality will not associate impropriety or tastelessness when this word or item is mentioned or talked about.  It’s just that idiosyncrasy in the Filipino culture…..that’s another topic to write about. 

To “C&J” this is your word of the day. And with this, I welcome you all to 2007!